Skinnier

Once,

She had friends

She had foes

She had flesh

Now,

She has blades

She has bones

She has bruises

The smaller she gets

The harder she tries

The less she eats

The bigger the lies

She thinks to herself

If she cuts off the fat,

If she slices it away,

It won’t come back

She’s better like this

She’s prettier

But she has to be,

Skinnier

Skinnier

She’s got a hollow chest

She’s the gap between her thighs

She’s got a hollow head

She’s a mouth full of lies

She’s supposed to be sweet

Little white lies and compliments

But you’ll find a grapefruit in her teeth

Bitter stones where her heart’s supposed to be

She’s better like this,

She’s prettier

She’s sour but prouder

She’s skinnier

Skinnier

- By Heidi Foster

An Empty Canvas

“Nerd!” someone shouts from the crowd as everyone starts laughing. “He’s never been absent before,” someone else adds, followed by another round of the laughter. Again and again in a never ending cycle of torment. All the faces staring at him, the laughter that is mean and harsh, cutting him off from society and creating a barrier between him and others.         
A social outcast, he thinks to himself. He tries to run away and hide, escape from the torture and pain of society. People are calling him names, taking photos. He tries to prevent the tears from coming but they come anyway. Someone snatches his book and throws it away.
I wanted to get away from all that, Anton realizes. “So, I pretended to be someone I am not, sporty, athletic, the cliche cool person of society.” he says, shaking his head. “But is it really worth it?” Anton asks himself. “Is being popular worth it?”
     “Anton,” someone whispers, a tone of emergency in the voice that came from behind the table.
Anton quickly turns around, hastily composing himself as he wipes the last remnants of tears in his eyes, stopping the dreadfully loud sniffing that had accompanied it.
     “Rob?” Anton exclaims, his voice cracking, sounding strained and tired.
     “Shh,” Rob says, his voice barely above a whisper, looking around to make sure nobody sees them, scanning the teacher's desk in the front, the other students at the back, the entrances, located at either side of the classroom. 
     “What is it?” Anton asks, his breathing layered and heavy as his eyes stare down at the ground.
     “I saw what happened to your painting and I’m sorry,” Rob says, staring out of the window at the dark storm clouds gathering,  Anton's eyes. Silence ensues as Rob feels the air around him, thick and heavy. 

Anton feels his face heat up, blood boiling through his veins. He lets out all the emotions he realizes have been pent up inside him, hidden under a mask of numbness. 
     “Shut up and go away!” Anton shouts, much louder than he intended. BOOM. The sound of thunder, fills the class, drowning out Anton’s voice. “Just go away,” he mutters, letting his hands fall to his side, pain and exhaustion threatening to overwhelm him. “Please just go.”
     “Why do you hang out with them?” Rob asks, trying once again to reach through to the person that sits in front of him, the one with his head in his hands, silent now.
     “You wouldn’t understand,” Anton croaks. “I just want to lie down and sleep. To forget about all this.” Rob leans in and tries to pat Anton on the back, to be able to offer some comfort to the broken person he sees in front of him. He fumbles with his glasses, unsure of what to do or say. Rob looks around, feeling awkward and uncomfortable about the series of events that have taken place.

     “What to do...What to do?” he asks himself, tapping his foot on the floor trying to figure out how to handle this situation and help Anton. As he turns around, he sees Thomas and Eddie. They always are mean to me and now look at what they have done, he thinks. He feels the blood in his veins boil, and, glowering in anger. He stares at them, laughing and messing around, oblivious to what they have just done, and Rob realises what he has to do next.  
Almost immediately, Rob is standing in front of their table, staring at them. His eyes reflecting his annoyance and anger. They are on their laptops watching youtube videos as they laugh, oblivious to Rob’s presence. Their canvases are a mess, where one colour dominates the others, having no real order in them.  
He acts in a menacing manner, baring his chest out and cracking his knuckles while gnashing his teeth, trying to intimidate them. “You guys are jerks!” he shouts, unable to conceal his anger, stepping forward, inches away from Thomas and Eddie. “Why are you always so mean and unfair to everyone?” he adds, his face white, absolutely livid with rage.    
     “Really?” Thomas says coolly, looking elsewhere as though he is focused on other things. His face is relaxed, free of tension as he turns and looks at Rob, a smirk plastered on his face. “To whom?”
     “For starters me!” Rob shouts, breaking into a sweat. His throat feels dry and he is conscious of the entire class's attention on him. 
     “So?” Thomas replies. He shrugs his shoulders and adds, “Nobody cares about you, but everyone likes me.” He shrugs, turns away, and starts talking to Eddie, ignoring Rob . Everyone around him shifts their attention away once more, starting up their conversations again.
     “HEY!’ Rob shouts, trying to arouse people's attention again as he waves his arms in quick succession. “I can name people who don’t … don’t like you.” he says sighing as he throws his hands down, annoyed at the class. He does one more sweep, and his eyes settle right at Thomas and the cool attitude on his face.
Thomas turns towards Rob once again. Calling his bluff, Thomas asks him 
     “Like who?” as he shakes his head in a disapproving way. 


Rob starts playing with his glasses, his eyes wide open. Anton can see confusion in Rob’s eyes as he desperately scans the room for someone who can support his claim. From the exit of the classroom, his focus travels from the sink, to the teacher's desk, all the way to the other end of the class, to Anton. His face is red, and he is sweating profusely despite the chilled air of the art room. 
     “Anton.” he counters, his voice high pitched. 
The words come tumbling out there, so easy to say, impossible to take back. By now everyone's attention is back on us, looking eagerly about what going to come. 
     “You...You ruined his painting,” Robs says, stuttering slightly, taking a slight step back. 
Thomas laughs, rolling his eyes in amusement, he turns and stares at Rob, his gaze demanding, undeniable like a hurricane that won’t stop until it destroys everything in it’s path.
     “Anton doesn’t care about any of that. He thinks I’m cool too. Right Anton?” Thomas asks in a tone that seems innocent enough, but has an underlined threat in it.

The room turns deathly silent as everyone turns towards the top of the classroom where Anton sits, trembling. Sharp quick panic rises up in him, an aching pain that rises up in his throat. The abyss that he had been tethering on the edge of, loomed closer than ever, threatening to ensue him into an eternity of emptiness and pain. Everyone leans forward, eagerly awaiting his answer. Blind terror rises through him as he considers the looming prospects of being a social outcast. He see’s Thomas cold, lifeless stare, as he waits for the answer that will decide it all for Anton. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Mr Paul walking down the corridor at a slow place.
     “Hurry up and answer the question...or else!” Thomas exclaims, not trying to hide the threat anymore. He walks up towards Anton, cracking his knuckles and smirking again, in that horrible twisted sense. Anton shudders at that sound, wincing as he imagines that coming in contact with his stomach, the pain and agony, the humiliation.

I just want to be able to express myself freely and have friends, Anton says to himself. But if I agree with Rob, I will become a social outcast, and could get hurt real bad, he adds,  feeling his knees shaking at the thought. He thinks back to Rob, the only one who tried to comfort him. Thomas and Eddie keep treating me like somebody who can be discarded at will. I am the only one who makes sacrifices for them.
The blood rushes to his face as he thinks about all the times, he has had to lie for them. The terror is gone as anger rushes through him, replacing the fear and doubt he had. He thinks about Rob. He gets teased all the time, yet he never gives up and is always his own master. I wanted control of my life, but I was too scared to take it.

As he sees Mr Paul approaching the classroom door, he knows it’s now or never. He stares straight at Thomas, sizing him up, taking on that hard stare and accepting the challenge that has been issued… His face shows no trace of hesitation, as his speech rings through the cold silence clearly. 
     "Rob’s...Rob’s right.” he says. He looks at all the people around him taking the information in, the shock and astonishment all too plainly written on their faces. Some people even have their mouth open while others whisper to their friends about those two words. 

Two words that change everything, Anton thinks. Reflexively, he ducks under, as something hurtles over him, where his head was just a moment ago . “You guys are jerks,” Anton continues, determined to finish saying all of it, no matter what the consequences of it might be. “When I was your friend, I had to change my personality just to maintain my friendship.”  Anton’s face feels hot as the whole embarrassing truth comes out. “I wanted to be cool and popular so I idolized you guys,” Anton can sense everyone staring at him, taking in this information. “I actually like school, especially art and math,” Anton, almost stops, afraid that the faces around him will break into laughter. “I lied though, to remain ‘cool’. But today, I finally realized that you guys aren't worth it. You destroyed our friendship, like it was nothing to you.”
Thomas’s fist comes down again, barely missing Anton. Thomas’ face was white with rage, lit up with deathly fire.          
Anton stares blankly at Thomas, before grabbing a glass of water. “You did this to my painting, now let’s see how you like it!” He hurls the water all over them, and throws down the glass, finally free from the cage he had been trapped in, able to be who he truly wants to be at last.

Thomas is livid, soaked from head to toe in water. His nostrils are flared and his fists are ready to come down on him again in a furious onslaught. He glances out and find Mr Paul is outside, talking to another teacher. He turns and grins, ready to make mincemeat of the person who defied him today. The room turns deathly silent, as everyone stares at them, as though they were boxers about to fight till one is unconcious. “I really hope it doesn’t come to that” Anton says, biting his nail. The grin turns into a glare as Thomas continues looking at him. He sizes him up. He can feel his body tense as he got ready for what is about to come.

Thomas walks away, calm. His shoulders are relaxed, As Anton slowly loosens up and stands to his full extent, he opens his mouth in surprise. 
“Nerd!” someone shouts from the crowd as everyone starts laughing. “He’s never been absent before,” someone else adds, followed by another round of the laughter. Again and again in a never ending cycle of torment. All the faces staring at him, the laughter that is mean and harsh, cutting him off from society and creating a barrier between him and others.         
A social outcast, he thinks to himself. He tries to run away and hide, escape from the torture and pain of society. People are calling him names, taking photos. He tries to prevent the tears from coming but they come anyway. Someone snatches his book and throws it away.
I wanted to get away from all that, Anton realizes. “So, I pretended to be someone I am not, sporty, athletic, the cliche cool person of society.” he says, shaking his head. “But is it really worth it?” Anton asks himself. “Is being popular worth it?”
     “Anton,” someone whispers, a tone of emergency in the voice that came from behind the table.
Anton quickly turns around, hastily composing himself as he wipes the last remnants of tears in his eyes, stopping the dreadfully loud sniffing that had accompanied it.
     “Rob?” Anton exclaims, his voice cracking, sounding strained and tired.
     “Shh,” Rob says, his voice barely above a whisper, looking around to make sure nobody sees them, scanning the teacher's desk in the front, the other students at the back, the entrances, located at either side of the classroom. 
     “What is it?” Anton asks, his breathing layered and heavy as his eyes stare down at the ground.
     “I saw what happened to your painting and I’m sorry,” Rob says, staring out of the window at the dark storm clouds gathering,  Anton's eyes. Silence ensues as Rob feels the air around him, thick and heavy. 

Anton feels his face heat up, blood boiling through his veins. He lets out all the emotions he realizes have been pent up inside him, hidden under a mask of numbness. 
     “Shut up and go away!” Anton shouts, much louder than he intended. BOOM. The sound of thunder, fills the class, drowning out Anton’s voice. “Just go away,” he mutters, letting his hands fall to his side, pain and exhaustion threatening to overwhelm him. “Please just go.”
     “Why do you hang out with them?” Rob asks, trying once again to reach through to the person that sits in front of him, the one with his head in his hands, silent now.
     “You wouldn’t understand,” Anton croaks. “I just want to lie down and sleep. To forget about all this.” Rob leans in and tries to pat Anton on the back, to be able to offer some comfort to the broken person he sees in front of him. He fumbles with his glasses, unsure of what to do or say. Rob looks around, feeling awkward and uncomfortable about the series of events that have taken place.

     “What to do...What to do?” he asks himself, tapping his foot on the floor trying to figure out how to handle this situation and help Anton. As he turns around, he sees Thomas and Eddie. They always are mean to me and now look at what they have done, he thinks. He feels the blood in his veins boil, and, glowering in anger. He stares at them, laughing and messing around, oblivious to what they have just done, and Rob realises what he has to do next.  
Almost immediately, Rob is standing in front of their table, staring at them. His eyes reflecting his annoyance and anger. They are on their laptops watching youtube videos as they laugh, oblivious to Rob’s presence. Their canvases are a mess, where one colour dominates the others, having no real order in them.  
He acts in a menacing manner, baring his chest out and cracking his knuckles while gnashing his teeth, trying to intimidate them. “You guys are jerks!” he shouts, unable to conceal his anger, stepping forward, inches away from Thomas and Eddie. “Why are you always so mean and unfair to everyone?” he adds, his face white, absolutely livid with rage.    
     “Really?” Thomas says coolly, looking elsewhere as though he is focused on other things. His face is relaxed, free of tension as he turns and looks at Rob, a smirk plastered on his face. “To whom?”
     “For starters me!” Rob shouts, breaking into a sweat. His throat feels dry and he is conscious of the entire class's attention on him. 
     “So?” Thomas replies. He shrugs his shoulders and adds, “Nobody cares about you, but everyone likes me.” He shrugs, turns away, and starts talking to Eddie, ignoring Rob . Everyone around him shifts their attention away once more, starting up their conversations again.
     “HEY!’ Rob shouts, trying to arouse people's attention again as he waves his arms in quick succession. “I can name people who don’t … don’t like you.” he says sighing as he throws his hands down, annoyed at the class. He does one more sweep, and his eyes settle right at Thomas and the cool attitude on his face.
Thomas turns towards Rob once again. Calling his bluff, Thomas asks him 
     “Like who?” as he shakes his head in a disapproving way. 


Rob starts playing with his glasses, his eyes wide open. Anton can see confusion in Rob’s eyes as he desperately scans the room for someone who can support his claim. From the exit of the classroom, his focus travels from the sink, to the teacher's desk, all the way to the other end of the class, to Anton. His face is red, and he is sweating profusely despite the chilled air of the art room. 
     “Anton.” he counters, his voice high pitched. 
The words come tumbling out there, so easy to say, impossible to take back. By now everyone's attention is back on us, looking eagerly about what going to come. 
     “You...You ruined his painting,” Robs says, stuttering slightly, taking a slight step back. 
Thomas laughs, rolling his eyes in amusement, he turns and stares at Rob, his gaze demanding, undeniable like a hurricane that won’t stop until it destroys everything in it’s path.
     “Anton doesn’t care about any of that. He thinks I’m cool too. Right Anton?” Thomas asks in a tone that seems innocent enough, but has an underlined threat in it.

The room turns deathly silent as everyone turns towards the top of the classroom where Anton sits, trembling. Sharp quick panic rises up in him, an aching pain that rises up in his throat. The abyss that he had been tethering on the edge of, loomed closer than ever, threatening to ensue him into an eternity of emptiness and pain. Everyone leans forward, eagerly awaiting his answer. Blind terror rises through him as he considers the looming prospects of being a social outcast. He see’s Thomas cold, lifeless stare, as he waits for the answer that will decide it all for Anton. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Mr Paul walking down the corridor at a slow place.
     “Hurry up and answer the question...or else!” Thomas exclaims, not trying to hide the threat anymore. He walks up towards Anton, cracking his knuckles and smirking again, in that horrible twisted sense. Anton shudders at that sound, wincing as he imagines that coming in contact with his stomach, the pain and agony, the humiliation.

I just want to be able to express myself freely and have friends, Anton says to himself. But if I agree with Rob, I will become a social outcast, and could get hurt real bad, he adds,  feeling his knees shaking at the thought. He thinks back to Rob, the only one who tried to comfort him. Thomas and Eddie keep treating me like somebody who can be discarded at will. I am the only one who makes sacrifices for them.
The blood rushes to his face as he thinks about all the times, he has had to lie for them. The terror is gone as anger rushes through him, replacing the fear and doubt he had. He thinks about Rob. He gets teased all the time, yet he never gives up and is always his own master. I wanted control of my life, but I was too scared to take it.

As he sees Mr Paul approaching the classroom door, he knows it’s now or never. He stares straight at Thomas, sizing him up, taking on that hard stare and accepting the challenge that has been issued… His face shows no trace of hesitation, as his speech rings through the cold silence clearly. 
     "Rob’s...Rob’s right.” he says. He looks at all the people around him taking the information in, the shock and astonishment all too plainly written on their faces. Some people even have their mouth open while others whisper to their friends about those two words. 

Two words that change everything, Anton thinks. Reflexively, he ducks under, as something hurtles over him, where his head was just a moment ago . “You guys are jerks,” Anton continues, determined to finish saying all of it, no matter what the consequences of it might be. “When I was your friend, I had to change my personality just to maintain my friendship.”  Anton’s face feels hot as the whole embarrassing truth comes out. “I wanted to be cool and popular so I idolized you guys,” Anton can sense everyone staring at him, taking in this information. “I actually like school, especially art and math,” Anton, almost stops, afraid that the faces around him will break into laughter. “I lied though, to remain ‘cool’. But today, I finally realized that you guys aren't worth it. You destroyed our friendship, like it was nothing to you.”
Thomas’s fist comes down again, barely missing Anton. Thomas’ face was white with rage, lit up with deathly fire.          
Anton stares blankly at Thomas, before grabbing a glass of water. “You did this to my painting, now let’s see how you like it!” He hurls the water all over them, and throws down the glass, finally free from the cage he had been trapped in, able to be who he truly wants to be at last.

Thomas is livid, soaked from head to toe in water. His nostrils are flared and his fists are ready to come down on him again in a furious onslaught. He glances out and find Mr Paul is outside, talking to another teacher. He turns and grins, ready to make mincemeat of the person who defied him today. The room turns deathly silent, as everyone stares at them, as though they were boxers about to fight till one is unconcious. “I really hope it doesn’t come to that” Anton says, biting his nail. The grin turns into a glare as Thomas continues looking at him. He sizes him up. He can feel his body tense as he got ready for what is about to come.

Thomas walks away, calm. His shoulders are relaxed, As Anton slowly loosens up and stands to his full extent, he opens his mouth in surprise. “Okay Anton.” Thomas says in a calm and dignified manner, without any of the rage he had shown before. “If you don’t want our friendship then don’t be our friends. Yeah, you are not our friends anymore.” 

- Akshat Jain
     “Okay Anton.” Thomas says in a calm and dignified manner, without any of the rage he had shown before. “If you don’t want our friendship then don’t be our friends. Yeah, you are not our friend anymore.”


- Akshat Jain

Strive to Belong, Not Fit In

It’s a feeling that has plagued each one of us at some point in our lives - not fitting in.

Picture this, it’s lunchtime. The part of the day that most kids look forward to. The cafeteria is buzzing with activity - boisterous kids falling over each other just to sit with their friends, laughter rising from all corners, everyone talking over each other. But despite all the people, Sally, a grade 8 student looks around awkwardly, unsure of who to sit with. She can’t sit with the “geeks” because she has nothing in common with them. She can’t sit with the “jocks” because she hates sports. And she can’t sit with the “populars” because they are very exclusive and there is no way they would even let her come within five metres of their “elite” group. She does not really fit in anywhere. Sound familiar?

Feeling left out and not being able to fit in is a problem that all kids have faced at least once in their lifetime.  In our society, teenagers especially, feel pressured to fit into one exclusive group, a clique. This is a constant struggle for many teenagers.  Let’s face it - how many of us really fit into one specific “category”? A recent survey showed that 40% of teenagers felt pressured into trying to fit in with other kids at school. These days fitting in has become a top priority for many teenagers.  Significant amounts of energy are put into trying to meet the expectations of someone other than themselves.

What does “fitting in” even mean?  Does it mean the same thing as belonging? Brene Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection and research professor at the University of Houston says, “Fitting in is the greatest barrier to belonging. Fitting in, I've discovered during the past decade of research, is assessing situations and groups of people, then twisting yourself into a human pretzel in order to get them to let you hang out with them. Belonging is something else entirely—it's showing up and letting yourself be seen and known as you really are.” And so it becomes even more clear that to ask someone to fit in is to actually tell them to change something about themselves whether it is the way they look or act in order to be accepted by others.  That is the negative message that is being sent out to teens.  Instead we should be focusing on encouraging teens to be themselves, stay true to their values and aim to belong rather than “fit in”.  In a society that is constantly telling us what is “cool” it is hard to accept ourselves for who we truly are and show off each of our individual and unique quirks instead of trying to be a person that does not reflect our personal values but rather fits into one of society’s categories.

Friendship plays an important role in a child’s development. Children learn many social skills from a young age and are able to build many connections. Without friends, children may feel like they lack a lot of support.  But healthy friendships don’t usually form from cliques. The social dynamic in a clique is very different from a group of friends. A clique is very exclusive, people are either “in” or “out”. People in a clique may feel a lot of pressure to act a certain way because they might get kicked out if they act differently. Rather than trying to fit into a clique we should be encouraging friendship groups. In a friendship group, members don’t have to be alike or share the same hobbies. They don’t have to constantly worry about being kicked out of the group for the way they act. In a friendship group kids can “belong”.

It’s worrisome how big a struggle this is for teenagers who feel like they don’t fit in. Teens who have social problems and do not fit in are affected emotionally, making it more likely for them to suffer from depression and even stopping them from going to college. Studies have shown that at least 57% of girls, 68% of boys are less likely than peers of the same race, social class and academic background to attend college if they have feelings of not fitting in.

There is no instant solution to making good friends, but it’s important to know that you have to be patient. Work on bettering yourself, find a passion that you can focus on. Join a club or a sports team where you can form healthy friendships while staying true to yourself. It may be a long journey and there is going to be challenges along the way but when you find a friend that’s accepts you for who you are and what you believe in, that friendship is going to last, you will be happier, and you will feel like you belong.
In a society that is so quick to label teens based on what they wear and who they hang out with, it is no wonder that young people are constantly stressed about where and with whom they fit in. Now is the time for parents and other role models to play a bigger role in guiding teens towards building a sense of belonging instead and to encourage strong friendship groups. It is important for young people to not lose their sense of self and personal values and be strong enough to not let society define their identity.

Brown, Brené. "Brené Brown's Top 4 Life Lessons." Oprah.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Jan. 2016.
Biali, Susan. "Stop Trying to Fit In, Aim to Belong Instead." Psychology Today. N.p., 17 Oct. 2013. Web. 26 Jan. 2016.
"Coping With Cliques." KidsHealth. Ed. Arcy Lyness. The Nemours Foundation, 01 Aug. 2013. Web. 26 Jan. 2016.
Lopez, Christopher. "What Do You Think about the Term "fitting In"" A Conversation on TED.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Jan. 2016.

- Caitlin Moor